Chapter 343 The Minefields of Maybes
[HAWI]
"Why are you pouty? Is it because Jer wants you?" Elodie asked a pouting Malika if she looked cute as hell but then there was a chance that she would snap heads if anyone told her she looked cute.
"Don't even get me started on that. All I want is to get some sleep and now three shadow warlocks took Her. How the fuck am I supposed to sleep knowing he is out there?" Malika asked softly, making Elodie stare at her in surprise.
This was the first time she had heard Malika whine like this. She had never seen the woman with slumped shoulders and the fact that she was letting Elodie know, either meant that she trusted Elodie to show her her weakness.
Or she was getting ready to leave.
Whichever way, Elodie was just glad that she was hearing this from the woman she loved. It had been a while since they had some time alone and fatigue was something that was burned with the amount of work Malika had to tend to.
"You… You're actually opening up to me?" Elodie asked after a short silence. Her mind was going crazy with that possibility and why it was just in her head, she couldn't help but hope that one of the most dangerous women was opening up to her.
Maybe Oldie was overthinking this. Maye it all didn't mean shit and maybe, just maybe she was way over the limits of what humanity Malika would sound like, but goddamn, this was huge.
They were currently in Elodie's suite in the pack house. When they came back, Malika couldn't go to the secondary alpha suite where she had slept with Her throughout the years she had been here as Jer's wife.
She had considered going to the guest rooms like her sister, but then Elodie was against it because then she wouldn't have to spend time with the woman she loved. Unlike Hawi's suite which was dark, Elodie's suite bloomed with life.
It looked beautiful and was more welcoming. It was like a place where people went to heal their broken souls, only that the only other person who had been here with Elodie was Malika and that was one of the days that she had been fucked by Elodie.
"Well… Mistress trusts you, and she said mates can be trusted. I chose you to be my mate and mate I'm overthinking it… never mind, I'll just get some sleep, alright? Let me know in case of anything;
"Thought I would probably sense it sooner," Malika said as she got under the covers.
She had been drained in the past two days. She had used a lot of her protector energy to keep the operations building age and to make sure that even though the fire wards of Sicario were down, Sicario was safe.
Malika hated failing, and if anything happened to Sicario when she was here and her Mistress got hurt, then even a death sentence would be too easy a punishment for her. She would make herself suffer for that regardless.
"And please don't tell Mistress that I am fatigued. A little sleep will get me recharged alright. Anyway, see you when I wake up, sweetheart," Malika said as she grabbed one of the pillows and hugged it as she tried to get some sleep.
She was about to drift off, when Elodie grabbed the pillow and put it on the side, making Malika open her eyes inside. The wild protector was never one for emotions or letting people in, and yet she had let Elodie in.
Sure, she never knew what people did when they were in a relationship, but Malika was certain that they didn't disrupt the other's sleep regardless. That was not fair and mean, right? Well, that was still debatable.
Elodie got into bed beside her mate who was still staring at her, curious to know what the warrior was aiming for. All of this was new to her, but Malika was too tired; she just needed to rest.
"It's okay to feel fatigued," Elodie said softly as she pulled Malika closer to her, so Malika's head was resting on her arm. She always loved it when her woman was soft and by doing Elodie like that she was letting her in.
"I can feel relieved because of fatigue, Ella. I can't lose. I have never lost, and I refuse to start losing again," Malika mumbled softly as she snuggled closer to Elodie who held her delicately like she was scared Malika would break.
"I know, krushka, I know," Elodie said as she removed a stray hair from her Malika's face.
"But how about we forget that we are warriors in our suite, huh? I just want you to be yourself when we are beyond these walls, where no one will look at you differently for letting go, and trying to breathe.
"Can you do that for me,'' Elodie asked softly as she gently raised Malika's chin, so they were staring at each other face to face. Elodie could see hope in Malika's eyes and that made her smile a little.
This was really happening and she was glad that Malika didn't have to do this alone no matter how tempting it was for her. Malika was being humane, and boy was it a pretty sight to live in.
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"What if you don't like who I am away from being the fierce protector? What if I prove useless to you here? What if I end up being just another person in your life who means nothing?
"What if we were wrong about the mate bond? What if everything is just a result of the war and that you never loved me in the first place and just tolerated me for Mistress's sake? What if all of this is not worth it in the end?" Malika asked defeatedly.
She had clearly been thinking too much about this. Elodie was seeing the raw version of Malika and boy was she interested in knowing more. It was like she had finally managed to open the book on the shelf that she had always wanted to read and she loved it.
"What if when the war ends you realize that whatever we had was just a way for the both of us to cope with the chaos around us? What then? As it is, I tried to kill you the first days we met. Who's to say I won't try that again?
"I am dangerous, Elodie, what if my enemies get wind of this, and come for you? What will I do then? What will Mistress think of me? What if she forces me to leave and never come back? Is it really worth the risk?
"Am I really with the pile of risks that are headed your way if this continues? Won't you regret it sometime later? What if you don't like me even then? What if you realize I am a terrible monster that is unworthy of love?
"Will you still want me? Will you still want to be associated with me? Will it even be worth it? Fuck, am I really worth the trouble that you might get into along the way? What if—" Malika rambled on, only for Elodie to shut her up with a fervent kiss.