Chapter 37 Please Start Your Performance [Please Favorite]
It was already too late to run. The fist power came crashing down, making the entire Liusha River tremble, and then it exploded, turning all the water into steam that filled the sky where it passed!
In the blink of an eye, an eight-hundred-mile-wide river was blasted into a gargantuan trench three hundred miles wide and eight hundred miles long by this dominant and barbaric punch!
The river water was forcefully split into two, unable to reconvene for half a day!
Seeing this, Sun Wukong, Zhu Ganglie, and the White Dragon Horse were all rendered speechless, thinking, "Probably only this baldy could think of such a tactic in water warfare!"
Tang Sanzang was gleefully observing the bottom of the riverbed.
There, a cluster of yellow sand gathered, and Sha Wujing appeared.
"He's not dead?" Sun Wukong was surprised and immediately whipped out Jingu Bang and charged into the fray.
Zhu Ganglie knew it was his time to shine and not lag behind, lest the sly monk give him trouble; he might end up as lunch!
Thus, Zhu Ganglie also whipped out his Nine-toothed Rake and, howling, charged into the fray.
Sha Wujing seemed not yet to have recovered from the shock; Sun Wukong smashed his head with his staff, spilling his brains and dropping him to the ground.
Seeing this, Zhu Ganglie, distressed, cried out, "Brother Monkey, leave some for me to hit too. Now look, all the credit goes to you!"
Sun Wukong felt a bit embarrassed, "I didn't expect this guy to be so fragile."
No sooner had he spoken than one of the skulls hanging from Sha Wujing's neck suddenly exploded, and his shattered head rapidly restored itself. The guy revived right on the spot!
Zhu Ganglie exclaimed, "Hey, he can revive! Brother Monkey, leave this one to me!"
While talking, Zhu Ganglie lifted his Nine-toothed Rake to smash down!
At the critical moment, Sha Wujing raised his Zen staff to block the blow, and then he shouted, "Master, it's a misunderstanding! A misunderstanding!"
"Master? Are you really Sha Wujing?" Sun Wukong and Zhu Ganglie both looked stunned.
In fact, they too thought that Mu Zha had tricked them into trying to get out of trouble through this seedy fellow.
Now that Sha Wujing shouted like that, they hesitated to strike.
As Tang Sanzang watched the bearded fellow frantically running towards him, he frowned deeply, pondering whether to punch him again.
Sha Wujing suddenly knelt before Tang Sanzang, a four-meter-tall man weeping and wailing as he cried, "Master, it's really a misunderstanding. I am the Curtain-lifting General from beside the Jade Emperor of Heaven. I was stationed in a perilous place after accidentally breaking the Liuli Cup and nearly lost my life. Thanks to the Barefoot Immortal pleading on my behalf, I barely kept my life.
Though my death sentence was spared, the punishment remained. I was banished to the mortal realm, fallen into this Liusha River.
Driven by hunger and cold, I had no choice but to become a man-eating demon.
Every day, I suffered the agony of a thousand arrows piercing my heart...
Luckily, Goddess Guanyin enlightened me, saying that as long as I follow you to the West to retrieve the sacred texts, I can resolve all my sins with virtuous deeds and even gain blessings."
"Master, do you believe this?" Zhu Ganglie came over and asked with a chuckle.
Tang Sanzang nodded, "I do."
Zhu Ganglie was surprised, "Master, he doesn't have any proof, and you believe him just like that?"
Tang Sanzang looked at Sun Wukong, then at Zhu Ganglie, and then at the unattractive Sha Wujing, "Because he is as ugly as you guys!"
In that moment, Zhu Ganglie, Sun Wukong, and Sha Wujing all felt insulted.
Tang Sanzang sighed, "I've realized that the Guanyin Bodhisattva you talk about, if her taste isn't problematic, must be doing it deliberately.
You tell me, a grown man going to the West to retrieve the sacred texts, how lonely and boring is the journey?
Wouldn't it be nice to have a lady to chat with along the way, talk about life, and pass the time?
Is my request too much?"
Sun Wukong, Zhu Ganglie, Sha Wujing, and the White Dragon Horse really wanted to say, "Too much, way too much!"
"You, a monk, yet always thinking of women, aren't you the extreme one here?"
And are you sure you were just talking about life and not 'making life'?
But when you think about it, this guy isn't really a monk, so having these thoughts seems somewhat normal.
However, it's not like Guanyin Bodhisattva put them here just for him!
Mentally entangled but outwardly nodding vigorously, they said in unison, "Too much, way too much!"
Tang Sanzang said, "Hey, assigning me monkeys, pigs, and men is already too much, and to top it all off, each one is uglier than the last!
Way too much!"
This time, none of the brothers made a sound, as speaking up would mean admitting they were ugly.
Apparently, men and women are the same, they can despise others for being ugly, but they can't deny their own attractiveness.
Speaking of which, Tang Sanzang looked at Sha Wujing and said, "The journey to the West is tough, and I've chosen useful people.
If we run out of money, I can have the monkey perform tricks to make money.
If we run out of food, I can slaughter the pig to eat.
The white horse can be ridden, so tell me, what use are you?
You have three minutes to show your talent, if you have none, you'd better scram."
Hearing this, Sha Wujing felt the urge to retreat for the first time; maybe going back to the Sand River to endure hunger and occasionally having 'a thousand arrows pierce the heart' wouldn't be so bad after all.
But he had come all this way; he dared not really retreat.
He was afraid that the bald thief would hit him again!
His collection of spare skeletons was not abundant...
Sha Wujing tentatively said, "I can protect..."
Before he could finish the phrase 'escort you to the Western Paradise,' Sun Wukong whipped out Jingu Bang, and Zhu Ganglie drew his rake, tilting his head as if to say, "Protect him? Do we really need you for that?"
Sha Wujing quickly changed his tune, "I can carry loads."
Zhu Ganglie said, "No, that load is mine, find another task."
"I can lead the horse!" Sha Wujing called out.
Sun Wukong said, "Little brother Sha, leading the horse is my job, find something else."
Sha Wujing, looking at Tang Sanzang's expressionless face, was sweating bullets...
Just then, he had a brainwave, "Master, actually, I can do quite a lot, I'm really quite capable."
"Aren't you using the monkey to earn money? I can help you beat the drums and gongs."
"Aren't you planning to butcher the pig for meat? I can help you make fire and heat the pot."
"Aren't you riding the horse forward? I can help gather fodder and nail horseshoes."
Besides these, whether it's leading monkeys, walking horses, feeding pigs;
doing laundry, cooking, massaging, and back-rubbing, I'm proficient in all!
Oh right, my cooking skills are not bad, I once learned from the God of Cookery, and I especially excel in a full pig feast!"
As he said these things, the faces of Sun Wukong, Zhu Ganglie, and the White Dragon Horse darkened further and further...
But alas, Tang Sanzang's eyes only grew brighter and with a clap he said, "Are you sure, you can really do all those things you mentioned?"
Sha Wujing immediately pounded his chest and declared, "Absolutely! Don't believe me? I'll show you right now!"