Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 451 ARIN’N HAELAR

I continued shadow boxing as I tried to get used to only having one arm. Luckily it was my left arm that was gone and not the right, but it was still a hassle to get used to. To be fair this was always a possibility with the fights I had been in over the years. I felt I had a way to get it back, but it would require me to rip off someone else’s arm. Since I liked most everyone around me, I couldn’t take it from them. But there was someone specific I wanted to get revenge on. The Shi’ar that kicked my ass the most a few hours ago. 

My right arm punched out too hard, throwing me off balance and propelling me forward. I cursed, my footwork wrong for keeping balance while still throwing my weight into the punch. As I recovered slowly I couldn’t help but remember Saeko Busujima from High School of the Dead. She had taught me so long ago how to handle my Jitte and utilize my body to it’s fullest in a fight. 

Saddened that the girls from that world were still frozen in time, I needed to get more Door Fragments to open the Manga hall again. So many things going on at once I wiped the sweat from my brow as I studied my Status Screen. 

Not too many changes to the screen, the biggest one was I had received almost 0.5% for my Viltrumite Form from getting beat up by the Shi’ar. The fight itself hadn’t been a complete loss, and at least it was giving me the opportunity to practice losing limbs, so that if I was ever mid-fight I wouldn’t be caught off guard. 

I had used most all of the items that I could gain something from. The only one that could potentially help was my Bonus Copy. I had been saving it for someone with powers that had a bonus I could use, but nothing had really stuck out to me so far. Hopeful I could run into an Asgardian or some other immortal someday, I decided to keep it for emergencies. 

Letting out a sigh, I looked around the small training room we were allotted. No real amenities, it was simply a room with nothing inside. Nothing but a giant cat tree looking thing. I was pretty sure the room was for the bird-people’s meditation. Rectangular and bland there were a few other rooms in our cell where we could sleep and find food, but I was told that the Shi’ar had been rather standoffish since we were brought in under suspicion of trying to kill ourselves with that weird dimensional attack. 

I had told Xavier the current state of the planet with the power struggle between the siblings. To my surprise he was all for helping out Lilandra. It turned out he had been scanning more than a few minds in the vicinity and Mandor Naramani was known for his violent actions and backstabbing. Though I wasn’t completely confident Lilandra could come through, it was at least an option in the coming days. 

“Weston?” Cyclops asked as he entered the room. I turned to face the stoic leader. Frowning at him, I liked him better with the beard in the future. But the clean cut boyscout felt a lot more confident and sure of himself currently. 

“What’s up?” I asked, walking toward him. 

“Nothing, just…our escort is here,” he said. 

“Fun,” I said, bending down to grab my shirt. Throwing it on was a pain with one arm, but I was able to get it on. I looked up to Cyclops as I walked to the door. His Haki was all concern and remorse. “Please save it.”

“What?” He asked, confused. 

“I don’t want a pity party. It’s just an arm. I’d much prefer the pissed off, I told you so, leader, that I can’t stand,” I said. I especially didn’t want an apology from him because I’d had sexual fantasies with his girlfriend. I wasn’t about to open that can of worms, that was for sure. 

“You have really fought hard. I think I owe you-”

“Shut it,” I said, taking the doorknob from him. “I’m strong headed and allowed myself to get in a situation where I made myself handicapped. Stick with the chastising, old man.”

“I’m not old,” he said defensively but I ignored him. Walking down the hall the others in the group were gathered near the entrance to our cell. It was only an hour since I had appeared, so I must have slept longer than I thought. Either way, I was lucky to have gotten here. Since they had chased Lilandra when they found me, I worried they would lump me in with her and execute me. Apparently this Haelar was a lot more important than Lilandra was. 

“-You will be escorted at all times,” a Shi’ar with an afro for hair said. He was a big man with large muscles and full body armor. “The rules of the event will be explained to you. Any more attempts at escape will be seen as a forfeit and the Kree will be killed.”

“Where is Car-Ell?” Xavier asked. 

“Follow me,” the lead guard said and turned around. 

The Haki of everyone around was a cacophony of worry and excitement. Magneto, Cain Marko/Juggernaut, his sidekick Black Tom Cassidy, the giant rockman Ben Grimm, and surprisingly the homeless guy were all excited. Though I didn’t know the hairy man he had at least cleaned up for the event. His beard and hair was combed as he stood silently in his wool trench coat and shoes that were more mud than anything. Nôv(el)B\\jnn

“Well let’s not leave them waiting, let’s go,” I said excitedly. Waving one arm to help push them along. Some sets of eyes went to me, others began to follow behind the lead guard. As we stepped out the familiar sleek metal hallways led in only one direction. A good six guards following behind us people started to feel like they were heading to the gallows for execution. Which may very well be true. With luck, me being there would help the odds of survival, but only time would tell. 

“Weston…” Peter said as I walked over to my group of teen titans. 

“Peter…” I said with the same inflection of worry in his voice. “My god man, I’m not dead. In fact, I’m stronger than ever. And I have a pretty good idea the Shi’ar capabilities now.”

“But your arm, dude,” he said. 

“And your face,” I said with the same tone of sympathy. “I don’t know how you got any work done at school. Bully’s must have been training their whole lives to give you shit. I haven’t seen a space toilet yet, but I look at you and want to give you a swirly.”

“Fuck you,” he said. 

“You haven’t used a bathroom yet?” Lyra asked. “Where the hell have you been going?”

“Corners of rooms? The street?” I asked, playing along. 

“That’s disgusting!” She and Gwen laughed, breaking up the worry a little. 

“What? I’m an American on vacation. They would probably make me pay to use one or something.”

“They have sweet toilets. You’ve got to be kidding,” Gwen said.

“Mostly,” I said. “Oh man, this is so exciting.” I flexed both-er one arm getting pumped up. “Did you guys do any training with your new web shooters?” 

“We did,” Gwen said. “But kind of hard to get stuff done in two days.”

“Maybe for you,” I said. “Oh my god, how did I not think to print me one of those out? They are so cool out in the open.” Too be honest I did think of it, but I could fly so I thought it was kind of pointless. I was simply trying to get their minds off the thought of potentially dying. Trying to paint this all as some kind of experience of a lifetime, which it was. 

Here we were, across the galaxy, fighting in a tournament against an alien race. It was every American’s dream. Usually movies had aliens coming to Earth to fight, but we get all the fun without the risk to our planet. As long as we didn’t piss the Shi’ar off that is. Which was probably unavoidable. 

Pushing worries about tomorrow to tomorrow, I mapped out the area around us with Observation Haki. We were in some sort of dedicated hallway but there were plenty of halls and rooms above and below us. Near the center of the palace it must have been where they housed the relatives that were known for stealing things. Since I could create a Rift easily enough to any of the halls, escape wouldn’t be too much of a problem at least. 

We began moving through larger corridors, the guards surrounding us as we went this way and that. Eventually we came to a large circular teleporter that we had used earlier in the palace to get around before I made my escape. Everyone, including the guards stepped on, and we were immediately teleported to the loud and massive arena. 

Hundreds of thousands of Shi’ar and other races yelled all around us. Floating ships and platforms above, this appeared to be the event of the century…or perhaps the event of the week since I had no idea what the Shi’ar considered a big event. 

We were back in the arena we had been summoned to three days ago. But instead of teleported to the main fighting platform at the center of the arena, we were on one of the platforms opposite Mandor’s. Where Mandor’s was like the emperor’s podium at a coliseum with all of his posse around him, our platform was more like a fancy prison cell. Simply a floating block, there was a weird distorted energy around it that told me escaping would be difficult without a Rift. 

Large screens littering the perimeter of the arena lit up with live views of us as we looked around helplessly. As I looked away from the crowd, my eyes were drawn to that of Mandor Naramani. The current Majestor looked even more pompous now. Rather than the modest clothes he wore last time, now he wore a huge multicolored robe that could fit a few of him inside. Wearing some sort of ceremonial robe, his triangle hair framed faced looked extra punchable. 

About to ask something, I stopped as Mandor waved, and Car-Ell appeared next to us in our floating cell. The forgetful Carl Danvers wore the red and blue skintight super suit of Captain Marvel. Looking around for a moment his gaze locked onto Mandor as well. But instead of the emperor greeting us, the lackey from before spoke up. 

“Your Majestor greets all Shi’ar,” the lackey said. All screens showed his image and the people went wild. He spoke over them as the arena shook with the strength of their cheers. “On this most holy of days we will be commencing the first Arin'n Haelar in nearly a century's time. The accused, the Champion of the Kree, Car-Ell himself, has been set to trial for destroying an entire fleet of our Voyagers.” 

Car-Ell held his anger at the lie. From what I understood, it was probably just one ship that he destroyed. But he did have the Cosmic Force, which meant he was strong. Recalling my recent revelations from the Prophecies of the Phoenix I had found, reminded me I needed to talk to Jean or the professor, I wasn’t sure which yet. 

“The accused has set the terms of Arin'n Haelar to prove his innocence. Though he does not have Kree to hide behind, our ever watchful Garuda has picked the mightiest of his species. The humans of Earth.” The screens shifted to us. Most everyone didn’t know how to act, I gave my best princely bow, remaining hand at my front as I bowed deeply then stood and waved. 

“In accordance with the human’s wishes, we will be conducting this in the form of a tournament,” the lackey said haughtily. “One random human against one random Shi’ar of the Imperial Guard.” He pointed at another floating stage opposite us. Upon it was the Shi’ar that kicked my ass a few hours ago, front and center. 

My own anger soaring to new heights. my body bulked up due to my Berserker skill. Ready to rip one of their arm’s off to replace my own I ignored the other few dozen Shi’ar behind them. All were strong, but those up front would pay, one way or another. Of course since they had home field advantage the crowd cheered louder than before. This time the Majestor’s lackey let them show the support to the Imperial Guard, the strongest on the planet.

“This is going to suck,” a voice said beside me. I turned to see the homeless man next to me. Probably the first words I heard from him I was struck by them for a moment. For some reason I thought I recognized him as we locked eyes. Then the moment passed and we turned back to the announcer. 

“The rules state that the accused is the only one that can call a fight, or intervene,” the lackey said. A teleporter ring behind us on the platform lit up as one on the arena floor did the same. “You may monitor and provide advice to your representatives. Stepping in to fight will be an admission of guilt.” 

“I understand,” Carl said through gritted teeth. I sure as hell didn’t, but wasn’t liking where this was going. 

The lackey was about to say something but the Majestor raised his hand. Screens changed to face him. The pompous emperor enjoying the attention way too much, he wore a stoic gaze as he spoke to the crowd. 

“We Shi’ar have been through so much as of late. My own parent’s untimely death. My sister rebelling against her people,” he looked choke up as he said the words. “I feel for these humans caught in the middle. Though it is not of the Arin'n Haelar, I offer you humans clemency. If you wish to forfeit, you will be sent home, right now.” 

He said the words and the overhead screens moved to us. “I’m assuming that means you get killed,” I said to Car-Ell. 

He appeared shocked by the offer, looking to each of us as his Haki went from hope to fear to a sorry mix of empathy for our plight. “It does not matter. Surely you know that you are all at risk of dying if you stay.”

I looked to the Professor and Magneto who appeared to be having a psychic conversation. It didn’t take long for them to come to a conclusion. Before they could say anything though, Reed Richards stepped up in our small group. 

“I’ve tried to take a step back from this whole thing,” he said, acting like he was somehow the hidden leader of our group. “This is crazy, right? We have no reason to-”

“Don’t be a bitch,” I barked at him, cutting him off. 

“You shut up! You literally lost your arm,” Reed said, having anticipated my reaction. “I don’t know about you all, but I barely understand my powers. I have so much back on Earth I need to-”

“The loud kid is right, don’t be a bitch,” Juggernaut said. The giant thumb shaped man flexed his massive muscles as he turned to face the invisible cameras. “Humans don’t run from a fight. And we sure as shit don’t leave a man behind.”

“Well said, Cain,” Xavier said. 

“Shut it,” Cain Marko said as his sidekick Black Tom Cassidy snickered beside him. “These aliens have fucked with our lives enough. It is time to show them some of what we are made of.” 

“Here, here,” Gwen Stacy said. Wearing the ARMIS suit I gave her that was painted white and black like the Ghost Spider outfit, I knew she was just excited to try out the new gear she got.

“I think it’s stupid, but let’s do this,” Peter said.

“This is so exciting,” Lyra Talbot said, clapping happily. 

“Leave it to kids to love this shit,” the rock covered Ben Grimm said. “Carl or Car-Ell or whatever. We are in this whether we want to be or not. So leave it to us.”

“Fuck,” Reed said, shaking his head, his Haki showing him to not be a fighter at all. 

“Let’s burn this place down,” Johnny Storm said as he was covered in flames.

“Definetly Plus Ultra,” I said with a smile. 

“Oh god, please don’t say that stupid phrase again,” Lyra laughed, slapping my shoulder, and getting an angry glare from Anne. 

“What? It will sti-wait shit. I forgot, Morgan said Hopium had some of Ultron, Lyra when we get back-” 

“Excellent!” The lackey yelled from above, cutting me off. “Let the Arin'n Haelar begin, and may justice prevail.”